“I have no intention of giving everything to a cock on a horse with a bright diamond ring.”
Deidre Dare is an American lawyer working in Allen & Overy’s Moscow office and that’s her motto. In her free time, she has been serializing her novel Expat on her website. The novel recounts the sexual activities of a foreigner living in Russia. The first chapter begins with a tale of impotence and a one-night stand (after the jump) and progresses through casual drug abuse, self-indulgent rambling, and an update of her Facebook status.
Not surprisingly, the firm told her to stop. Surprisingly, it seems to be a prospective ban – the 13 chapters to date are available. Either she took a literal interpretation of her orders or A&O is somehow enlightened enough to know that telling her to take it down would serve no purpose because nothing ever disappears on the interwebs.
Which means there’s a permanent home for her poetry. Vogon poetry is described as “the third-worst poetry in the Universe.” Have we found one of the two worst? Judge for yourself. We present Ms. Dare’s Ethereal Conversations III:
Little daily horrors
And their attendant assaults
Make me go to sleep in despair
And wake up in a fright.
Dare’s profile has been blanked out on A&O’s site (we’ll let you know if they respond to our request for her CV). But I found it interesting that she’s made it to senior associate but doesn’t appear in any relevant Google searches for deals she’s done. Anyone know anything else about her? The title of the page is “Deidre Clark” but we couldn’t find anything on that either. Her domain is registered through a German masking agent.
The first bit of the novel after the jump (forgive us, we’re a little bashful on the front page – also, NSFW).
There is something thrilling about being in bed with a Frenchman, even if he does have a small cock which he can’t get up, I thought, as Pierre gently kissed my eyelids and stroked my face. I sighed as if in pleasure, when, really, my mind was occupied with the thought that it is disappointing how European men seemed to have little boy cocks that put you more in mind of diaper changing than fucking.
Even though my eyes were closed, I knew he was furiously stroking himself in a vain attempt to achieve an erection. I could hear its desperation. It sounded more painful than erotic and I decided to let him off the hook at once.
The obvious: “It’s okay, it happens to everyone,” seemed too banal a thing to say to a sexy CEO. Too ordinary a thing to say in a place as extraordinary as Moscow. That expression, I decided, was only suited for the Upper East Side.
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