Meritocracy? Try Kakistocracy

Dear Diary:

My friend called me the other day and she was upset that she may be getting laid off. She was staffed on deals and then taken off before she even began working on them and has no idea what is going on. Is she safe? Is she about the get the ax? Even partners that she worked with before just give her the ol’ “I’ll keep you in mind” lip service. Are the partners slow? If so, then why is Ol’ XYZ over there getting work from that partner? She complained her get hours were low and is incredibly paranoid. Everyone’s hours are much lower than before but with people fronting or padding hours, you have no idea where you stand thus deepening your paranoia. My friend went to a top elite law school and graduated with highest honors. She’s no idiot. And law isn’t that hard that someone who can blaze through law school can’t handle junior associate transactional work of checking for commas, formatting, and signature pages.

But the thing that really kills me about how she is being treated, is not that she really is brilliant but hasn’t found a partner brave or powerful enough to take her under his wing and welcome her to his fiefdom. It’s not that politics and people’s biases are screwing her over. It’s how she is internalizing everything that is going on. She knows she is smart, she knows she does great work, and is efficient and a hard worker but I could tell she was seriously starting to doubt herself. All I could tell her is to keep her head down, try to get work, do the best she can, save money, and when the market picks back up, lateral or go in-house. She’s junior so if she gets shit canned now, she’s up shit creek. But, I also told her, not to forget that this particular firm cares nothing for her and isn’t a right fit for her so even if the market picks up and she gets work, she should still try to lateral. It’s terrible to see her up one day and then down in the dumps the very next day. I’ve been there. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Someone on ATL said not to tie your ego in with your career but that’s what most of us do and it wreaks havoc on us.

And the thing that really kills me about these lay offs in general is the general denial by the people who still have jobs that only the lowest common denominator got cut. Come on. Are you really going to live in that delusional world? Is it a coping mechanism so that you can talk yourself into believing you’re safe because you think you do good work and are therefore golden? Or is it just that you are a plain elitist asshole and find schadenfreude just a little too fun?

To deny politics at a firm is not only blatantly false but also a departure from reality. Why do you think our law school finals were anonymous? It’s human nature to play favorites or have biases. It’s natural for partners to use associates strategically (unless you thought the terms “pawn” or “cog” or “monkey” were really terms of endearment, in which case, your stupidity far surpasses the level at which any help from anyone would be useful).

Here’s a great comment from Above The Law that I found worthy (and hilarious and snarky) to quote:

“Your entire self-image is clearly tied up in your Big Law identity. Anyone who got laid off “couldn’t hack it?” I suppose that means you can and are “hacking it.” Congratulations. Tell us, do you really believe “performance” is the only factor driving who gets laid off? Big firm lawyers don’t play politics? Partners don’t play favorites? Everything is a meritocracy? Are you really that deluded? I’ll bet you think you’re a “valued employee.” You’re probably a mid-level or senior associate who bills like a maniac, looks like death warmed up and has trouble maintaining meaningful relationships. You think the job will save you. Guess what? It won’t. One day (and I hope it’s soon, please let it be soon!) you are going to choke on that smugness. Keep telling yourself only the bottom 10% got cut. Keep eating the shit your “colleagues” hand you with a knife and fork. Keep denigrating the associates who got laid off. I am confident you will get what’s coming to you. It really is sad that so many otherwise smart people can have the wool pulled over their eyes so easily. This is why Big Law is so unbearable. It’s full of “book smart” people who are not only divorced from reality but are trained to ignore basic human decency and are rewarded for being cruel. Its a toxic douchebag stew that produces Kool Aid drinking smug bastards like 194.”

Wool Over Your Eyes

It’s true that I’m sure some deadweight got the ax. But you also have to think that some were dead weights because they were jack-offs but some were dead weights because they fell through the cracks at BigLaw–no partners picked them up, they were too shy to network, they were discriminated against (yes, happens much more frequently than we would hope), they rubbed someone the wrong way inadvertantly–and just weren’t getting the billables even though they wanted to work hard. But many, many were excellent lawyers and it was a business decision–section is slow, or politics got in the way, or just business decisions independent of merit. Also, we haven’t hit bottom. If you commit yourself to the belief that only the worst attorneys get the ax, then make sure you are willing to suck that up when you get shit canned.

–politics, son, politics

*Posted May 16, 2009

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