We all have them, the Toxic Co-Worker, and there seem to be an unusual number of these types in law firms.
Who are they?
Well, they can be male or female, older or younger, senior or junior…
I would say more likely junior/mid-level because by the time they get more senior hopefully they have self-selected themselves out or been “encouraged” to move on.
What do they do?
HP answers that question – and the more important one of how to deal with them, after the jump.
They complain.
About everything.
Their substantive work, their partner bosses, clients, the various firm departments (office administrators, business development, conflicts department), other colleagues.
Why?
Perceived slights or inadequacies “I’m getting screwed on this project,” or lack of support “the xyz department doesn’t care about this initiative” or general incompetence “associate ABC really f-ed up this project.”
At first, you probably don’t know they are toxic. You may try to sympathize with them. You may think they are telling the truth and not exaggerating. Maybe associate ABC really sucks.
But quickly it gets old. And usually you find out it is exaggerated or perceived in a very distorted way. Toxic One takes up your time and sounds like a broken record. And others in the firm get to know the Toxic One and Toxic becomes disliked. Toxic’s reputation goes down the toilet and management would be happy to see Toxic leave. Usually they self-destruct.
What are YOU to do??
Well:
First, do not share important things with Toxic One. Like if you, too, are frustrated and thinking of leaving — DO NOT share with Toxic One. Why? Toxic One will blab. Remember, they are Toxic and can’t be trusted.
You can pretend to feign interest — like “I’m sorry to hear that, it must be hard.” But you don’t want to share your own thoughts like “Yeah, he is an ass. I heard he’s running around with 5 secretaries.” Again? Toxic One will spread the info like creamy peanut butter on wheat and attribute it to you.
Next, try to distance yourself from Toxic. When Toxic invites you to gab over lunch or hang, find some excuses. A conference call, a webinar you are listening to, something. People will see you with Toxic and will think you agree with him/her or generally fall in his or her camp. Be aware of perceptions.
However, you don’t want to piss of Toxic One if you can avoid it. This type of person can be dangerous to the career and you want to keep collateral damage to a minimum. So, try to get along without appearing to be buddy buddy. It may be a difficult in-between but it is an important one.
Be safe out there.
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So so true.
So so true.
So so very true.
This should have been one of your first posts because every organization has one from Starbucks to Wachtell.
So so true.
So so true.
So so very true.
This should have been one of your first posts because every organization has one from Starbucks to Wachtell.
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