If your marriage is no longer working and counseling is already out of the question, then you may already be considering calling up a divorce lawyer and putting a close to that chapter in your life. Divorce is quite an upheaval in life, so the best course to take is to make things go as smoothly as possible. At least then, it gets done pretty efficiently, and there is no added stress to an already tricky proceeding.
If you have children, talk about parenting them outside the court.
This part is a major turning point that can negatively affect your children if not handled well. To make it a less stressful time for them and avoid getting them in the middle of a custody dispute, make sure you discuss parenting concerns with your partner so you can come to a mutual decision. It’s better if you can settle on an agreement that works best for the kids so you can minimize the trouble that this will bring into the court setting.
Leave the arguments to the lawyers and mediators.
This step can be an emotional time with a lot of tension, but the right decisions and smooth proceedings never come from heated arguments or any other discussions that are swayed by feelings. Make sure you’ve got everything on task for what outcome you want, and leave the actual interactions to the lawyers handling the case. If you have a particularly hostile relationship, try to get a mediator involved who can temper things and speak on behalf of the necessary parties.
Focus on each objective for the proceedings.
Sometimes, it’s just about moving things along so that everything goes smoothly. Discuss with your lawyer about what topics and necessities are going to be handled. That is so that you can put your energy into them and not fall into any distractions or unnecessary procedures during the divorce proceedings. That can also help you to keep a clearer head to spot anything out of line and make sure you both get a fair end out of it.
Get your finances in order.
This part can be a costly process to undergo, and if it lasts months, then that can disrupt the regular flow that gives you income. The change itself affects your finances as budgets, and the total household incomes shift. Make sure you’ve got things covered for a while in preparation for what can last anywhere from a few months to a year.
Find the right emotional support.
You don’t have to shoulder the weight of this and carry it in stride silently. That can take its toll on you and doesn’t help anyone. That said, you also don’t want to bring your feelings home and take it out on people who care about you. Find someone you can talk to and vent to so you don’t get overwhelmed by this experience. Even if you have to seek out therapy, it’s alright as it can help you get to the end of the tunnel.
Divorce is an important life choice that can bring up a lot of stress, so try to follow through on these steps to make it as peaceful as it can get.