No one really knows the recipe for the perfect marriage—but you can certainly work on making your relationship better. After all, no couple ever wants to end up having to see a divorce lawyer; from Colorado Springs, CO to Orange County, CA, couples want their marriages to work.
A great place to start improving your relationship is to work on a change of perspective and attitude.
Eliminating the Competitive Mindset
When you are in a relationship, you should think together as a team. But all too often, couples fall into the trap of trying to one-up each other. Either one feels that they are being taken advantage of, or one thinks they need to get back at the other by doing something petty to assert their point. Say, for instance, when your significant other goes for a night out with friends and you feel bad thinking that they are having more fun than you. You then plot to see how you can get back just to show who’s the boss. Pride and envy also play a big role in igniting the toxic competitive mindset. An example is when both people in the relationship have jobs. One partner could become insecure over the other who has a higher salary or better career. When you give in to the temptation of trying to compete with your significant other, there will be no winners in the end. Instead, you should be happy for the other’s success and then help each other out when one of you is struggling. You were destined to be together to make better versions of yourselves.
Sharing Hopes and Fears
You are only human. There are times when you commit mistakes or feel vulnerable. There is also no limit to your imagination, for your mind is capable of conjuring up the grandest of dreams. Whatever you are thinking, it is best to share it with the person you love. If you have hopes for a brighter tomorrow, you could possibly take one step to making them more real just by talking about them. You can go further if you want, creating plans and then eventually realizing them. On the other hand, fears and insecurities can be difficult to manage if you keep them to yourself. How can act on them if you cannot pull yourself together? If you let your significant other know, they can help you fight and overcome the challenges.
It is Okay to Compromise
You may be someone who demands a certain standard when it comes to getting results or personal expectations. But things do not always go your way. If you are going to make your relationship hinge on your lofty demands, you will have a hard time. People have different behaviors and ways of learning things. It is best for you to conform to who your loved one is as their own person instead of trying to put them in your neat little box or change them into someone they are not. Remember that you also have your own quirks, and you would want others to accept them as part of you—or, to help you grow from them at your own pace and ability. This is why it is okay to compromise , especially if it will save your relationship.
Marriage is not a decision that you can easily or simply reverse at the first feeling of regret—nor is it something that you can make better simply by snapping your fingers. It will take a lot of effort to make it work. If you manage to avoid the pitfalls, or climb out of them, if you must, you should be on your way to having a blissful union, one that will last the rest of your lives.