When we hear of couples divorcing, we usually assume that infidelity has taken place in the marriage. If not, then it must’ve been an ordeal that proved the couple’s incompatibility. While both are common reasons for divorce, some marriages go stale due to reasons that seem minor at first. Do you have many friends that you hang out with often? That habit may actually hurt your marriage in time.
Aside from money, infidelity, and other common things couples disagree on, some seemingly insignificant things in your life can also affect the course your marriage. The more such factors apply in your life, the more likely you’ll be to get divorced someday. Of course, the things in your life that you have no control over shouldn’t affect your commitment to your spouse. But if you let those things influence how you treat your spouse or how you regard your marriage, then don’t be surprised if you find a divorce petition in your mailbox soon.
That said, here some uncommon, but very real reasons your marriage can go downhill:
1. Your Parents are Divorced
Several scientific evidences suggest that seeing your parents go through divorce also make you more likely to experience the same thing. Surprisingly, even adopted children whose biological parents are divorced showed the same pattern. According to studies, it’s because the children might’ve inherited some of their birth parents’ detrimental personalities, such having an impulsive or neurotic behavior.
2. The Place You Live or Work
The more eligible partners surround you, the more likely you are to stray from your spouse. Research has found encountering many people daily affects your ability to stay faithful. If you work in a crowded city with lots of places to hang out, you increase your chances of meeting new people, and expanding your social circle. Though there’s no harm in making new friends while you’re married, you may fall vulnerable to the temptation of cheating if you grow too fond of your new friends.
This ultimately makes infidelity the reason for your divorce, but your extensive social circle is the factor that made that happen in the first place.
3. The Age You Marry
Age is subjective when it comes to its role in marriage, but an analysis has found that marrying in your early 30s increases your chances of divorcing. The chances grow by 5% per year as you age further.
According to a research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, marrying too early or too late may make you more likely to get divorced. Alternatively, the ages where divorce is least likely are mid to early thirties.
4. You Like to Drink and Your Spouse Doesn’t
The act of drinking alone, not alcoholism, can also hurt your marriage if your partner’s drinking habits aren’t at par with yours. If going to the bar is your idea of a fun weekend, but your spouse prefers to stay sober, those opposing traits are only bearable for a short time. lResearch has found that 45% to 50% of couples where one spouse is a heavy drinker split up before their 10th anniversary. If you’re not willing to compromise for the sake of your marriage, then your harmless drinking nights may soon lead to a stale marriage.
5. You Did Not Finish Your Studies
According to a National Center for Health Statistics research, college-educated women have higher chances of staying married after two decades. Likewise, a National Bureau of Economic Research study has found that women with a college degree is 10% less likely to get divorced.
Education’s link to divorce may suggest that it takes more money and resources to maintain a marriage. And since a higher educational attainment generally gives you more income, it makes you more capable of sustaining your marriage.
6. You Had a Grand Wedding
Contrary to popular belief, a fairy-tale wedding doesn’t always result in happily-ever-after’s. A 2015 research from Emory University revealed that women who had a $20,000 or above wedding are 3.5 times more likely to get divorced. On the contrary, couples who had budget weddings are more likely to stay together. This proves that the saying “invest in your marriage, not in your wedding” is applicable to all couples.
7. Your Firstborn is a Girl
This is probably the most unbelievable reason for divorce, but it happens to some. For a time, this phenomenon has been linked to a sexist culture that prefers sons as firstborns, but newer research doesn’t suggest that anymore. Instead, firstborn daughters are found to be produced when the marriage is already rocky to begin with. A concept called “the female survival advantage” supposedly causes this, because girls are more likely to survive stressful pregnancies that boys cannot.
If you have an unhappy marriage and these factors apply in your life, they’re probably the reasons for such. But if these factors don’t affect your happy marriage in any way, then continue to maintain a harmonious life with your spouse. Divorce is only necessary when fighting for your marriage is no longer worth it, and if the legal implications won’t hurt your livelihood.